Choosing Your First Toy: What to Actually Consider

The better starting question is not “which toy” but “what for” — solo use, something for a partner, something quiet enough for a shared home, or something that travels well. Answering that narrows the field faster than comparing feature lists.

Material is the thing worth getting right first. Non-porous materials — silicone, glass, stainless steel and ABS plastic — can be cleaned thoroughly; porous ones such as TPE and TPR cannot be fully sanitised however carefully you wash them. The materials guide goes through each of them properly. A well-made toy in a body-safe material will usually outlast several cheaper ones, so it is often the better value even at a higher upfront price.

It is also worth being honest about experience level. A simpler design with fewer functions is easier to get comfortable with than one with a long list of patterns and settings — you can always go more elaborate on a second purchase once you know what you actually like.

Four things are worth checking before you order:

• The measurements, held against something physical rather than judged from the photograph.
• The material, and whether you can clean it properly.
• How it is powered, and whether it is rated for water.
• What lubricant it is compatible with.

One thing to know before you order: for health and safety reasons we do not accept returns or exchanges. If you are unsure about a measurement or a material, email contact@teznplz.com and ask first — we would rather answer the question. Our refund policy sets out the full terms, including how defective items are handled.

Bigger is not a marker of quality, and it is not what determines how something feels — comfort, shape and how a toy is actually used matter far more than its dimensions. For anything insertable, a smaller or slimmer option is the easier starting point if you are new to a particular type of product; you can size up later once you know your preference, but sizing down after buying something too large is not possible.

Photographs are unreliable for scale — a product shot on its own against a plain background gives you almost nothing to judge against. Read the stated measurements instead. Insertable length and maximum diameter are the two numbers that matter, and girth tends to be felt more than length. Holding a tape measure at the stated diameter before you decide is a better test than looking at the picture again.

For external or full-body toys, size is more about how the toy sits in the hand and how easy it is to manoeuvre than about maximising surface area. If a listing gives no dimensions at all, that is itself a reason to look at something else.

Toys generally fall into three groups. Battery-powered toys are usually the least expensive and do not need to be plugged in to charge, but you will need to keep the right cell size on hand, and power tends to drop off as the cells drain. USB-rechargeable toys cost more upfront but work out cheaper over time and are the more common choice on mid-range and premium products; check the run time per charge and how long a full charge takes before you buy. Manual or non-powered toys — most glass and steel products, for instance — have no power source to think about at all, which also means nothing to charge, replace or eventually fail.

Each has its own weak point. On a rechargeable toy it is the charging port, which is where water gets in on anything that is not fully sealed, and a flat toy is unusable until it has charged. On a battery toy it is the compartment: cells left in for months can leak and corrode the contacts, so take them out of anything you are putting away for a while.

If you travel, a USB-rechargeable toy with a magnetic or proprietary cable is worth checking against carry-on rules for the cable itself; battery-powered options sidestep the question of chargers altogether.

Motor noise varies a lot between products, and it is not always mentioned clearly in a listing. As a rough guide, smaller motors and lower-intensity settings tend to run quieter, while higher intensities and larger motors are more likely to carry through a wall or a closed door. Deeper, rumbly motors generally travel less far than high, buzzy ones, and air-pulse or suction designs are usually louder than plain vibration.

Where a toy sits changes what you hear as much as the motor does: a hard surface amplifies it, soft bedding absorbs it. If discretion matters to you, look for products specifically described as quiet, and treat that description as a starting point rather than a guarantee — “quiet” is not a standardised term, so reviews that mention sound specifically are more reliable than the listing copy alone.

“Waterproof”, “splashproof” and “water-resistant” get used loosely in marketing, so where a product lists an actual IP rating, that is the more reliable number to check. As a rough guide: IPX4 means splash-resistant — fine for incidental splashes in the shower, not for submerging. IPX7 means it can be fully submerged to a specified depth for a specified time (commonly around one metre for thirty minutes), which covers bath use and makes cleaning simpler. A product with no rating listed should not be assumed to tolerate more than a wipe-down, regardless of what the name implies.

Whatever the rating, charging ports and seams are the usual weak point — if a toy has a charging port, check whether it needs a cover in place before it goes near water, since a submersible-body claim does not always extend to an open port.